It’s been a while
The title says it. It’s been a week or so since I last updated, mostly because I felt I didn’t have much to say. No gems of wisdom, no words to the wise, or hilarious anecdotes. But after two weeks of small steps in a direction I’m not sure of, I’ve started to realize a few things about my time here.
Life here, like anywhere, is a constant struggle. We all need validation in some form to feel as if we are a necessary force or at least doing something with the time we are given. So much of Peace Corps training is not looking at your service as a day-to-day experience, but rather as a week-to-week one. If I were to base my experience here on a day-to-day, I do believe the outcome would not come out in my favor. But as the weeks dwindle on, I feel differently about this place every day. Neither good nor bad, but just different.
The school they have me placed at is ill-equipped to effectively host a Peace Corps volunteer in my opinion, with only two English teachers and less than 12 available hours to teach per week with the current schedule. What’s more is that from what I had gathered over my past month and a half at site, many of the students and teachers don’t carry a sense of enthusiasm for learning English, and with good reason. Most of my students have never been out of this province, even less to Phnom Penh. For many of these kids, their entire lives will be lived in a 15 mile radius from my town, farming, fishing, selling, cooking, or something of the sort. As many of the students I teach are beginning to prepare for their national exams, who am I to tell them English is the most important class they have? It would be as useful as teaching Quantum Physics to an Art major.
With this realization, I began to feel somewhat useless here, conned into a notion that I was not going to affect any change here and would not be noticed if I simply did not go to a class, if the students and teachers weren’t as well. I was wrong.
I came to class today out of boredom, to see only 13 out of the 42 kids I teach in Grade 10a English with no co-teacher (he’s in Sihanouk for the next 10 days for a wedding). I walked in, asked if the kids wanted to learn, and was met with an unequivocal ‘yes’ and asked promptly why I was not at class yesterday. In that moment, it hit me that my job in the Peace Corps is not to change everyone, or change anyone, but give help where it is needed. I knew at least 4 of the 13 students had ridden their bikes well over 8 miles to come learn English today and who the hell was I to deprive them of that?
Case in Point, I felt like a jackass. It won’t be happening again, I don’t care if I only reach one student in each class of some 40 odd people, If they come, I will teach.
I also recently started up an Environment and Tourism focus group with about 15 kids from the eco-tourism town near me who are staying at the Wat. Focusing on hospitality, touring, rentals, and colloquial english, I’m set on helping these kids increase the success of the tourism industry in this area and hopefully expand it. I’ve never in my life seen such enthusiasm as I do with these kids. If there was ever a reason to get out of a funk, this week has been one of those reasons. I may be starving from lack of protein, sick constantly from the allergens, and constantly exhausted from lack of sleep, but that does not mean I can give up.
I’ll post some pictures from Khmer Independence Day and some random stuff soon. In the mean time, just appreciate what you have, those things make it easier for me.
Be easy,
-matt
-
hellogreenapple said:
i like the new perspective you’ve got goin’ on.
-
redefinedweekendwarrior posted this