Plan A
This post is neither negative nor positive, just an obscure thought by someone with too much free time.
Few times in our lives do we actually realize something we did or saw, people we’ve met were how we imagined them to be or were things we realized would happen as we saw them. My experience thus far, has without a doubt….been no exception to that truism.
One should learn to never expect things to be one way and, with everyday at site, I’m starting to realize this to be true. Someone once said, “embrace the madness” and something about the roller coaster that is life - I’ve never been one for thrill rides, I’ve always had issues with the structural integrity of roller coasters assembled by Carny folk. But I’ve started to learn the difference between riding the roller coaster for thrills and the ones you get on to chase for your sanity. Sometimes you just need to let things take you where they will.
My time in Cambodia has, if anything, been a roller coaster. High points, low points, being flipped over, going through dark tunnels with no visible light at the end, and even the long lines full of anticipation for the coming vortex of nausea.
My plan A for Cambodia was fully of unrealistic goals, expectations, and a great deal of anticipation. None of this has been sullied by the reality of Peace Corps life, but it for sure has been altered irrevocably. There are times my opinions and preconceived notions have been correct, times they were built upon, and times they were torn down. But just as any one knows, it is at those times we discover the world around us. Ignorance is not bliss, it’s simply the purgatory of learning. I’m choosing to let the notions of an American in the Peace Corps take a back seat to the Kampuchea Express.
Just with everything in our lives, we need to take a step back and digest the world around us. Too often do we get so stuck in our heads that we keeping moving forward without ever taking the time to enjoy the chaos around us. I’m going to try and fix that. Instead of barreling ahead toward a goal I half-know is not based in reality, I’m going to breathe it in and just go for the next two years. If there is ever a time in our lives when we acknowledge true lessons are in everything around us, we just need to see their merit. I joined this to learn as much as I could about myself, the world around me, and my worth, I plan to keep that preconceived notion in the reality bin.
Be Easy,
-Matt